I just don't fit in.

     So I have three roommates, and we all get along well enough. We always have friends in the rooms and so on, so it's always the place to me. I just don't feel like I fit in much.
     One of my roommates is black, and she has her two black friends, and the other two are boy and drinking crazy, where as I would much rather read a good book.
     It's funny because they think they are so mature, and almost superior, when I know for a fact that they haven't been through half of what I have been. They are the sheltered ones, not me.
     My black roommate-let's call her 'S' keeps insisting that she's ghetto, and from the hood, when really she's from Harrisburg, the good part.
     Every time we have a conversation I'm the outcast, and I voice my opinions because I am me, and that's what I do. So every time I do, they make me feel inferior. Up until now I've kept my mouht closed because I didn't want to create tention within the rooms. But tonight I had just had it. It wasn't even the topic, becasue sometimes- most of the time it's about a black movie I've never seen adn 'everyone knows that movie' or some shitty rapper I'd never heard of. Or even partying in high school, when I was the geek in school.
     Tonight we were talking about Jersey Shore, and I had made a comment about how many suitcases there were. and they retorted with "They are there for three months"
and I threw back "They're obsessed with laundry, wash the damn clothes, I only pack one suitcase for a month!"
     Then 'S'started on that, and how I was crazy, and how people want to look good, and wear something different each say they are on vacation, and "how everyone is different"
     And I lost it, I got so pissed because since I've been here they have been riding me about how I wasn't like they're shallow asses. and I turn to her and snap "exactly, everyone is different, I'm different" And I turned back to the tv, and stayed quite. While the three black girls looked at eachother adn then burst out laughing. the other girls in the room asked what was going on and and one explained that I had an attitude because 'S' said everyone was different and how I over reacted.      And I got up and left the room, because I could feel the tears coming, and, as soon as I got up they started laughing again. And as I sit here in the other room I could hear them all talking about it, and retelling something as if it happened ages ago, and I wasn't there!
     I really miss my best friends, and my mom.
(this post doesn't deserve my Doctor Who inspired catch phrase.)
-M